Our ongoing daily life often has its mundane dynamics of chores, making a living, and paying bills along with so many other responsibilities that are not all that exciting or energizing. So we often long for escapes to lift us out of our ordinariness. Many times in this fast paced world we can resort to drugs and alcohol that promise to take us somewhere to alter our mood. We can be tempted to take this path because it looks so inviting and offers us so many benefits. It seemingly helps us get away from the stressors of daily living. So why not drink? It lifts our spirits. It changes our mood. We like the taste.
We learn to Swim in the Winter and Ice Skate in the Summer
Generally when we reflect on our lives and see where we are, we can sense that an emerging energy from the past oftentimes has brought us to where we are today. We can generally trace events, special tipping points, and influential people who have contributed to our present situation. When we sometimes have one of those “ah! ha!” moments, we may realize that something has really been seething within our hearts, our souls, and our spirits quite sometime.
Where can we find Hope? What makes Life Worth living?
It has been said that ‘no one is immune from life’s difficulties’. Scott Peck said in The Road Less Traveled that ‘Life is Difficult.” Many clients find themselves having a hard time and wondering what they can do about their relational, emotional, and situational pain.
Recently in a conversation with a two of my colleagues, they both sharedwith me their idea that as soon as a couple says, “I do” the relationship changes. Even before they turn and exit down the aisle! I suggested that what is transformed is the frame of the relationship which has changed to “permanency”.
In therapy we can learn to have more compassion for ourselves and trust our ability to reach out to others. We can experience wonder and depth of meaning about the love of self and recognizing, acknowledging, and nurturing the best in others. Everybody generally enjoys a good story, and the month of February often conjures up stories of love embedded in many memories.
2016: Expecting & Discovering that which is Mysterious and Fascinating
“Some people see things as they are and say why. Others see things as they can be and say why not!”
George Bernard Shaw and Robert Kennedy: Wikipedia
In therapy as I interact with clients; together we discover a hope to overcome adversity; we both do what therapy is about: we are involved in revealing expectancy that is alluring!
As we live through the winter of 2016, this can be a good time to spell out our hopes and dreams for this promising year. The possibility of life getting better for us is on the horizon. Yes life will present challenges, however we can use our initiative to be up to something big!
Have you ever become angry at someone and regretted what you said? Do you dislike getting angry? Yet anger seems to be generally a part of our lives. Clearly not the only part, but a part that can offer us a great deal but also can render setbacks. It has many meanings and can give us a lot of knowledge about ourselves. Frequently we can sense internally a stimulus that provokes a feeling of hurt, pain, or fear, that can sometimes lead to a surge to take up for ourselves. It can prompt us to perform. One can choose to act out the feeling of anger by spewing it out. Or we can process it and then make a responsible choice. The latter requires a deepening of self-knowledge and inner wisdom as to what to do. It can be an awakening when one chooses to take some time to reflect and then act and not simply react.
Building a Relationship and having that Emotional and Mental Edge!
We all need someone to be there for us. To care about us. To understand us…….to get us. To live with this kind of attachment is wonderful, bringing us much joy. At the same time it also can challenge us to struggle with the deep calling of love—to accept one another and not demand that our partner be like us. By stretching our emotional muscles and giving one another space, we can be in touch with our own sense of self and our own integrity. It can also launch couples toward developing more common ground.
Family life can be seen as an adventurous journey that involves being part of a caring system in which there is give and take in meeting one another’s needs. It can help all members by mutually supporting one another in dealing with life’s difficulties. These issues can come in all shapes and sizes whether it be from a job, from school, difficulty in some relationships, financial difficulties, or any number of other adversities. As we face the various challenges of life, family can help us find the necessary exceptional resources to face life’s difficulties.
What a great mantra that the health care professions have!
It can apply to us all whether we are just starting our new school year, or a new job, a new relationship, a new family or traveling on vacation. Wherever we find ourselves, we can take that posture and conspire with our own inner selves and notice how well we perform in becoming better persons, better friends, and having a better connection with our significant other.
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” US Women’s Soccer Star, Alex Morgan
When people come to therapy, I work to help clients hear something that can be useful and something that they have not heard before: not from a friend, not from a neighbor, not from a relative, not from a colleague, not from anyone else. Our conversations are unique because each client is an original! Our relationship becomes creative. From our conversations, there springs forth a new energy that can be named and claimed.
Art History tells the story that the great sculptor, Michelangelo (March 6, 1475 –February 18,1564), studied a magnificent piece of marble for four months before he began to chisel. Then he went to work and carved out the statue of David. The master piece came to life and still stands to this day. This piece of art history illustrates my approach to what therapy evokes in us.
It can be an opportunity to loosen the knots that tie us into knots due to our confusing behaviors, our mixed emotions, and our unsettling thoughts. This can happen to us all in one degree or another. Often this experience can drive us ‘crazy’ and occur at a time when we are going through a signifcant period or transition in our lives.
Mike Rankin, LMFT, CDAC provides confidential, solution-focused counseling and therapy services for individuals, couples, and families specializing in areas that include, but are not limited to: Couples Therapy, Depression Help, Relationship Problems, Hypnotherapy, and Hypnosis.
Proudly Serving: Louisville, St. Matthews, Middletown, Jeffersontown, Newberg, Shively, Crestwood, Oldham County, Shelby County, Bullitt County and the surrounding communities.
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